Multi Tasking ruins your Ihsaan

Now based on the blog title, don’t tell me you’re reading this while cooking 🤯

Put the phone down right now and set an intention to read it a a specific time with your full intention on it. :)

Story time!!!

Let’s rewind back to 2020 Kulsum who started her business.

Scene: My home

Filled with toys all day long. The kitchen was a hot mess, I didn't know how to clean without a cleaning lady coming in everyday (Welcome to the west).

And me working on my phone and yelling at my kids in the bathtub to take a bath while my husband is constantly lecturing me about my nasty habits.

This scene happened at least 4 times a week.

My business flourished. Alhumdullilah. It got the initial fuel it needed in the early days.

But everything else. Blah! Even worse than Blah!

So when did the realisation hit?

After months of constant fights with my husband, a messy house, cranky kids and mindless home-making on Nov 10th 2022 I finally had my 10k launch. Ahhhhhhh the feeling! I knew I could do it. I’m very driven and stubborn like that.

But I was also like the Joker(from Batman). I’ll run after something, but once I get it, I won’t know what to do with it. Not very good for mental health I can say:)

The high of 10k lasted for about 4 days. I screamed about it on social media, told my family, and my husband was somewhat happy for me (Today I don’t blame him). But after the dopamine went away, I started to feel restless and anxious.

It all came down to a simple question.

Ok. Now what?

That was my breaking point. Is this all there is? Eat sleep get to the next income goal?

I felt lonely when I was actually supposed to be happy. To make it worse December in Vancouver is like GRAY!!!

At first, I was mad at the world and capitalism for making me want to run after a 10k month. Oh, how I yelled at social media. But as realisation started to sink in, I was mad at myself. For taking the bait of a hustle life. And in order to live up to the hustle, I multi tasked EVERYTHING as a woman who wanted to be all.

It was the first time in my life I was struggling with depression. My mind was always racing when my body and environment couldn’t keep up.

Why?

Because I had lost my cognitive skills and had to have been doing at least ten things to calm down.

I was always hasty about what I did, trying to finish it off to move to the next task.

My brain was always in a race for the next things I had to do

Never calmed down.

My life had become a list of never-ending tasks with satisfaction that lasted for 2 seconds.

Alhumdulliah I was able to identify the problem after asking around. The advice I got from most was “Do less and achieve more”

Wait, What?!

Am I supposed to cook slower? Or work less? Then how will I bloody get the work done?

What kind of pansy work this is! It's for Wusses to just go for a walk and not listen to a podcast that teaches me marketing.

But I tried it anyways to prove them wrong.

I went for a run, without a loaded podcast in my ears.

It was as boring as listening to your husband talk about cricket.

I went again. Still boring

I cheated in between and plugged in some learning.

S I started noticing the beauty the city I live had to offer. I went running to check out the lake or do some nature-y thing.